And The Lord Man Said...

The reading is taken from the New Improved Genesis, chapter 1: "In the beginning of modern times, about one hundred years ago, Man looked at his universe, and it seemed without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep, and Man said, 'Let there be science.' And there was science.

And Man saw the science that he had made, that it was good, and with it he divided all things. He created a science to rule the day, all things he could see, and he called it Natural Science, even unto Physics, Chemistry, and Biology. And he made a lesser science to rule the night, all the darker things about himself, and he called it Social Science, even unto Psychology, Sociology, and Political Science. And Man saw that it was good. And there was morning and evening, and the modern day had begun.

And Man divided all the things he saw into the waters above, the land, the waters below, the grass, the fruit tree yielding fruit, the swarms of living creatures in the waters, the birds that fly above the earth, and moving creatures of every kind that are on the earth, including himself, a higher primate who can be distinguished from other creatures mainly by his ability to destroy and separate the whole creation. And Man saw that all this dividing and classifying was good. It took several evenings and mornings, and that got him up to the fifth day.

And then Modern Man said, "Let us make God after our own image, according to our likeness." And so he did. He blessed God, and he said to him, "Be distant and keep to yourself, because we have already filled the earth and subdued it and classified it, and there really isn't much room left for you, but you certainly are a pleasant thought."

And then Modern Man planted a garden, and there he put the God he had formed. And he called the garden Safe, Respectable Religion. And out of the ground of that garden Man made to grow trees that are pleasant to the sight, and flowers, and he put a fine building in the midst of the garden, because good landscaping enhances property values.

And the Lord Man took God and put him in the building in the garden. And the Lord Man commanded God, "You may freely look through the windows at all of the trees and flowers of the garden, but don't leave the building, for in the day that you leave it you shall surely die."

Then the Lord Man said, "It is not good for God to be awake; someone might wander into the building and find him and be frightened." So the Lord Man caused a deep sleep to fall upon the God he had made, and he slept. And Man laid him in a box inside the building and put a lid on the box and laid a curtain over it and placed tall candlesticks on top of it, so he could come there from time to time to remember the God he had made.

The Modern Man said, "At last, I have expressed fully the mystery of life, and the depth of my mind; I shall call this God Personal, for out of my personality he was taken."

And there was evening and morning, the sixth day, and Modern Man saw that it was very good, because all this was done leaving one extra day in the weekend for recreation.

So ends our daily reading. If we had an equivalent hymn book, we could turn to #372, "How Great We Are."